written by Pamela Ebstyne King, Ph.D.

"If you want to make your dreams come true, the first step is to wake up!”

This is a provocative quote by J.M. Powers that was shared by the Student Council President at my child’s school last year. I liked it. I liked the action implied, but the comment lingered and nagged at me. I realized, as a psychologist, I don’t completely agree. Yes, we must wake up. Activate. Identify our purposes and set our goals to get there. BUT what about the dream?

There is an ethereal quality to a dream that pulls one toward something more.

Dreams, while awake or asleep, capture and integrate our deepest yearnings, hopes and fears. The type of dream relevant to LIBERTY is less the sleeping dream and more the intentionally constructed, articulated, and compelling dream.

We all need such a dream, an intentional dream that synthesizes our ultimate longings and the best of our imaginations: one that captures our greatest joys, integrates our hopes for contribution and is fueled by our spirituality (our deepest beliefs and sacred yearnings). Such a dream exists at the intersection of our deepest desires and our longing for purpose. These dreams are broad and incorporate much of life from personal to professional—the quality of our relationships, the effectiveness of our work life, our play and rest, our civic contributions, and our spiritual selves.

Intentional dreams are vivifying and orienting us toward the future. They motivate us to find a will and a way to move forward. Dreams that are most compelling stem from our authentic selves—our natural and developed passions and propensities. They also propel us to make a meaningful contribution to the world around us. Just as important and often overlooked, the most powerful dreams are laced with transcendence. They tap into our spiritual and ethical convictions and our hopes. For some, this might be fueled by religious faith, and for others, this may be compelled by the need for connection between one another.

Dreams provide direction. Not a destination. Not something or someplace where we arrive. Dynamic life-worthy dreams are on the move. They grow and change with our personal development and life’s circumstances. For this reason, we take heart in the journey of clarifying our dreams, of articulating them and sharing them with those we trust. A lofty dream retains its core or substance, but the details evolve and adapt with us. The direction stays constant, but the means to the end may change. This is important because women’s lives often go through seasons—seasons of seeking, bonding, parenting, losing, gaining, learning. Dream through them all.

When your life is ready, the fullness of the dream will clarify and you will realize that you have been weaving the threads of the tapestry all along. In the meantime, do what you can to articulate your dream, share your dream and breathe life into your dream. For when a woman weaves meaning into the many movements of her life, from the mundane to the monumental, such a life is both breathtaking in its beauty and breath-giving in its animating force. So I augment Power’s quote: “The first step to making a dream come true…is to dream.”

Pam’s Tips:

1. Be Reflective—dream about what gives you great joy! Reflect on the moments in the last year that have been most meaningful and when you felt most alive. What were these moments, and why were they so meaningful? How do these inform your dream?

2. Go big and go home—as relational beings, our dreams need to include the entirety of our lives, not only our vocation. Identify how your personal and professional lives are incorporated into your dream for the future.

3. Be a dream weaver—make a list of where your skills, interests and deepest joys begin to show themselves. What sticks out from your childhood, your teens and your younger adult years?

4. Dream forward—write an advanced autobiography of the next ten years of your life. How do the threads of your past come together to tell the story of your future?

5. Dream out loud—share your dream with two people who are closest to you. Confide in a peer as well as someone who is further ahead on the journey of life.

6. Establish your long-term dream team—identify your “kitchen cabinet” of people who will be honest, those who will speak to you with love, grace and truth as you refine your dream and pursue it whole-heartedly.

By Pamela Ebstyne King, Ph.D.

www.fuller.edu/faculty/pamela-ebstyne-king