written by Stacey Lindsay

We all get why we need to wear clothes. Hopefully, we find joy in the cuts and colors that we choose. But do we overlook the more profound, revelatory opportunity in what we put on? Professional stylist Roz Kaur argues that our clothes offer one of the most robust forms of self-expression. “Choosing how you present yourself to the world gives you the power to decide what you want to be,” says the pro-aging influencer. “And it helps you build your identity.”

We’ll go even further: Clothing can build our confidence, elevate our mood, and invite us to conquer the impossible. Roz, who has an out-of-this-world personal style, is talented at helping women do just this. “Clothing is an impetus,” she says. “It’s the spark to light that fire.”

Chatting with Roz Kaur

What inspired you to become a stylist?

As a child, I vividly remember my mother draping herself in beautiful silk sarees with blouses and cotton petticoats. I grew up in India, so I was drawn to beautiful prints and fabrics and textures and silks and brocades and cottons and embroideries. I was exposed to that magnificent world from a very young age. I had an aunt who was very chic and glamorous. She wore high heels, bright red lipstick, and metallic kaftans. My mom and my aunt had two distinct styles, but one thing I learned was they did what felt good and aligned with who they were. And both of them used style to protect and reflect their mood. 

My obsession with fashion led me later on to get a degree in fashion design. I ended up interning at a very high-end boutique. I was a 25-year-old doing windows and putting clothes together. Women would walk up to me and ask, ‘Roz, how should I style this? Or how do I put this together?’ One thing led to another, and one day, a woman asked me, ‘Would you look in my closet? I have all these clothes, but I don't know how to put them together.’ That's how I started my career in freelance styling.

Today, I'm a senior stylist for Anthropology. I do very little freelance styling on the side now because I dedicate a lot of my time to Instagram. I'm having so much fun on this platform. 

Many women in midlife tend to stay away from social media, but you embrace it. What made you lean into it?

Because I did not see anybody my age. When I was scrolling—this started, for me, during the days we were all at home during COVID—I'd see one post after the other, and I was like, Where am I in this space? I saw a few, but most of the ones I did see were trying to still look like a 30-year-old or a 20-year-old. And I thought I am going to use this platform to empower women. I want to show them that we are not invisible just because we are 50 or 40 or 60. We still have it in us. I meet women every day who are feeling that injection of hope, enthusiasm, and excitement. 

Also, I've always looked at social media for inspiration. I've always used it for inspiration, be it Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr. These are all great platforms for inspiration. I style myself, and hopefully, I am inspiring other women. I'm hardly ever selling anything. I'm just selling confidence. When you look at me, I want you to think if she can do it, I can do it. Because honestly, all I'm trying to sell is confidence. I'm just telling you to be confident, cool, happy, chic. Whatever brings you joy.

And you're not pitching the very things that you have on. Rather, you're showing us what's possible.

I tell every woman to be authentic. People come to me, and they're like, Oh, we're going to a black tie. We're going here or there. As a stylist, I always ask, 'What do you feel most comfortable in?' Many people say, 'what about just jeans and a shirt?' And I'm like, ‘then how about a dark pair of jeans and a crisp white shirt and a good pair of heels and red lips?’ Why do you always have to wear a dress or a long dress? Wear what makes you feel confident. If that's wearing a suit, then go to the gala wearing a suit! I mean, Sharon Stone did that! I'll never forget that moment. That is just iconic. 

So don't just pigeonhole yourself. Who makes these rules that you have to dress a certain way for a certain occasion? Do what makes you feel comfortable. Because once you're comfortable, you're going to exude that confidence, and you're going to walk a certain way. Like my mom and my aunt, they always used style to dress like they cared. Even on the days they were feeling down, they used that as a tool of self-care.

What is a style fail that you see all women 40-plus doing?

It's not a style fail. Just be confident. If you wake up in the morning and say, ‘today I'm just going to put on a great pair of sweats and a graphic tee,’ then great! If that's your jam, then do it. Women are just so afraid, and sometimes they're just hiding behind their clothes. Have the confidence to tap into your own personal style. And I'm here to help. That's what I do. I help women tap into their own personal style—and we all have a style. 

Personal style is about personal power. And that's once you have that self-awareness and self-acceptance of who you are and who you're trying to dress, then style comes quite easily to you. No matter if you're a mom or an empty nester or you're in your sixties, don't give up. Just don't give up. 

On social media, you often say you're about reinvention and resilience. What are you hoping that we embrace?

The truth is, for us women in our fifties, we've lived a huge portion of our lives. We've been married, had kids, had careers, might be empty nesters, lost loved ones, and are taking care of our parents. We've been through so much. A lot of women are stuck in their sense of expectations. They may have been a CEO of a company in the past, but that is not going to serve where they're going to be in the future. If we are stuck in that sense of expectation, we're not going to be able to move forward. So what I'm telling women is, 'I refuse to be invisible, and so should you.' By styling them every day, I'm showing them, 'Look, change is possible. You thought you could never wear a maxi skirt—but I put you in one, and you look fabulous! 

When you see yourself differently, you believe in something different. That's when reinvention comes in. 

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We pulled these tips from our original conversation with Jeni and edited and condensed for clarity. To catch the full conversation, listen to the Liberty Road Podcast. 

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